The Knowing of All Things

There is a rumor that people in Los Angeles don’t read. But, I’ve heard that Los Angeles is one of the biggest book markets in the world. That sounds impressive, as if we were all reading Also sprach Zarathustra in the original German by Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche. The reality probably includes this and enormous amounts of Jackie Collins novels. I found another alternative. Paperback books that are written for the truly intellectual. People who have read everything, and I mean everything are desperate for new content. A book adaptation of a 22-minute Adam 12 episode fills this need. Yes, it is possible to fill 224 pages with the spine-tingling plot of “Three hundred pounds of drunken driver menaces a quiet pedestrian street.”

Once you know all there is to know and are close to omniscience, or oneness with the universe, you need the novel That Girl. But stop, it’s not just Marlo Thomas running around town with a flippy hair-do. In this iteration, That Girl is Cathy from Wuthering Heights, “wandering the moors for eternity in search of her lost love, Heathcliff.” If Emily Brontë had the option to rewrite Cathy’s character as a perky young woman splitting her time between Heathcliff and auditions she would. "Oh, Donald, I have lost the faculty of enjoying their destruction, and I am too idle to destroy for nothing."