All Shook Up

I’ve owned the same Florence Knoll sofa and Saarinen Womb chair for 20 years. I bought them both from Skank World. Back in the late 80s, there were only a couple of mid-century stores in Los Angeles and New York. I could afford these just a few years after leaving school; it was that cheap. Alas, that has all changed. After spending a couple of days with my friend Erica looking for a sideboard, I have learned that mid-century has moved into a hell on earth. For the love of God, stop. At these shops, I don’t think I’ve seen so many hip, young couples with a baby dressed in black, stylish lesbians with Converse high tops, and entertainment types with jaunty pork-pie hats. I told my niece, Izabelle, as we shopped, “Never, ever, trust someone wearing a jaunty hat.”

Now, I don’t know what to do. I like my furniture. I don’t like change. But I don’t want anyone to think I wear pork-pie hats and shop for that special Danish modern end table. I am now considering raiding my grandparents’ house and switching to Victorian. It’s a little scary, and might look like the Haunted Mansion. There is so much stuff in the house; nobody would notice any missing items. For example, there are, at least, 12 Victorian hanging lamps. I have one in my bedroom now, so 11 more would be even better.